Friday, December 28, 2012

Romantics Anonymous (2010)

Directed by Jean-Pierre Ameris
Starring Isabelle Carre, Benoit Poelvoorde
Unrated
France 

“I want to get married and make chocolates with you forever."

Holy fuck, is this movie romantic. A socially-inept cutie named Angelique (Isabelle Carre, from the perfectly pleasant French pop band Lilicub) applies for a job at a chocolate  factory run by the equally awkward Jean-Rene (Benoit Poelvoorde, AKA the dude from 90's serial killer comedy Man Bites Dog). The factory is actually on its last legs and about to go bankrupt, but he's never had a relationship before, and his therapist told him he needs to ask somebody out, so he hires her. She thinks she's going to make chocolate, but the job is actually for a sales-rep, which she is terrible at, since she panics and faints whenever she has to speak in public. He doesn't really care if she can sell anything, he just wants to take her to dinner.

So, dinner happens. Jean-Rene is such a ball of nerves that he brings a briefcase stuffed with extra shirts everywhere he goes, just in case he sweats through the one he's wearing. And that's exactly what he does five minutes into their stammering dinner conversation. He retreats to the bathroom, and comes out wearing a ridiculous ruffled shirt. He's so embarrassed, he escapes out the bathroom window and runs home.


Meanwhile, Angelique is trying to make sales and getting nowhere. Everybody thinks Jean-Rene's chocolate is awful. She's got a secret weapon to save the company – she's actually an expert chocolatier – but she can't tell anybody, or she'll be too nervous to make any chocolate. What to do? Also meanwhile, Angelique and Jean-Rene share a kiss, and it's suddenly clear that they're both nuts for each other. The problem is, they're also both literally nuts.

So, can love win out over panic attacks?


Hey man, love wins over everything if it's speaking French.

What can I say? This movie is fucking delightful. If you're not shoveling chocolate down your gullet and/or making out on the couch with somebody by the time it's over, then abandon all hope.



- Ken McIntyre 

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