Sunday, December 26, 2010

Sleazy 70's Stags (2010)

Directed by Various
Starring Uschi Digard, Candy Samples, Rene Bond
Unrated
USA

So, apparently there was a time that movies were made on something called film, or celluloid. If you wanted to watch something in-home, you'd get a wheel shaped contraption with this so-called "film" and hook it up to this other contraption that pulled the film over a light - projecting it on a wall or screen - and wrapped it around another wheel shaped contraption that had no film on it in order to collect said film from the other wheel. Or something like that.

It's all a little confusing and primitive, but it appears that people used to buy these films in "reels" and watch them in their homes. The most popular type of film for home consumer use was something called 8mm, but I'm not good at math so I don't know what that means.

Well, anyways, people started filming women taking of their clothes on these 8mm things and sold them to people like your dad or grandfather (my wife vehemently denies this) so they could sit at home drooling and touching themselves.

OK, enough with the faux naivety. Both you and I already know what the deal is with these loops. You just wanna know what kind of stuff you're gonna see on this particular collection; am I right? Well, I'll just assume that was a yes and continue onward.

What we have here is a nice collection of 24 (that's nearly 2 1/2 hours) of these 8mm loops from the 70's (hence the name). The DVD is mainly solo girls in a POV style scene where they smile, chit-chat (silently, save for the added projector sound) and pose, remove their clothes, jostle their breasts about, touch their naughty bits, make sexy faces, etc., etc. The scenes vary in length between 5 and 10 minutes but often feel much longer due to lack of sound and limited variety of action. Now, there are 2 shorts that feature non-explicit male-female (and male-female-female) scenes, but for the most part, this is all about the solo tease action.


Obviously, the main draw here is Uschi Digard, Candy Samples (above, with dude), andRene Bond. Uschi and Candy get 3 scenes each, including one of the two aforementioned soft-core scenes where Candy and Uschi share a stud. Rene Bond only gets one scene and unfortunately hers is the worst for wear of any of the features.


Although the 3 "big" names certainly have their draw, I personally find the stand out of this collection to be Ingrid.


Sure, she's got some wild eyebrows, but she also has super cute mod fashion sense and a pseudo-Fairuza Balk thing going on, so everything all works out in the end. Add to this some erotic nipple manipulation and super close-up, sun glistened pube play and you have the makings of a fun and flirty good time.


All in all, if you aren't a fan of the stag film, or vintage erotica in general, this collection certainly won't convert you, but if you dig what this DVD from After Hours Cinema is laying down, you'll definitely be proud to add this to your collection. Just be warned: it appears that folks in the olden days often had a slightly different sense of beauty than we do now in the future, which can have the undesired effect of confused boners; or even worse - inverted boners. Yikes.


But then again, there's always Ingrid.


With over 3 hours of material to busy yourself with, Sleazy 70's Stags delivers as promised - giving a little history lesson on our sexual past and hopefully warming your cockles adequately enough to keep you warm on a chilly winter's eve. So slip into your Snuggies, people, and enjoy a drug-free flashback worthy of your undivided attention. Thank you.

-Jeremy Vaca

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