Friday, April 2, 2010
Dangerous Seductress (1992)
Turns out Susan is Linda's sister. She calls her up and tells her about John's man-handling, so Linda wires her sis some dough, and she jets off to Jakarta. Susie settles in with her sister and her weirdly accommodating boyfriend, but then Linda has to travel to Bali for a photoshoot.
She leaves Susie to her own devices, which turns out to be a bad idea, since she almost immediately gets into antics. Susie discovers the ancient spell book, and starts randomly reciting stuff; unfortunately for everybody, her first reading is from the Invocation of Demonic Evil page.
The queen of darkness shows up - as a floating severed head - and merges with Susie. Now Susie is the Queen of Darkness. So she's got that going for her.
Susie/QOD tries on various slutty outfits before hitting a local disco, where she picks up some jivey dude who brings her back to his houseboat. They get frisky, but before he can seal the deal, she spouts fangs and then nails him to the wall with a spear gun. And then she eats him.
And that's pretty much it for awhile. Susie chomps on a bunch of locals, and then her psycho ex comes to town, which is convenient, since she wanted to kill/eat that fucker, too.
Meanwhile - there's a lot of meanwhiles in this movie - Susie runs into some weird mystic type in Bali, who tells her to go home and sort shit out before her whole family is destroyed by demonic evil. She takes his advice. When she gets home, Susie's babbling away again and Linda stops her mid-spell.
"But this makes me happier than I've ever been!" Protests Susie, in her frumpy, non-happy monotone.
A desperate fight for Susie's soul ensues. How's it all end? How's anything involving demons end? Laser fight!
And also a flying car and a machine gun. And a magic mirror. And a chicken. And also magic beans.
Dangerous Seductress has two things going for it: an alarming, weird/gross prologue, and a hilariously shoddy and over-the-top finale. Both are must-sees for fans of far-out exploitation cinema. The rest of the film? Not so much. Hampered by a cultural taboo on female nudity and slowed down to a crawl in several spots to highlight the singing/dancing/posing prowess of one-time actress Kristin Anin, Dangerous Seductress constantly teeters on the edge of balls-out, but never quite gets there. Still, best glowing, floating car scene since Repo Man, and one of the most puke-worthy graveyard regeneration sequences ever. So we break even on this one, pretty much.
- Ken McIntyre