Thursday, September 24, 2009

Actress Apocalypse (2005)

Directed by Richard Anasky
Starring Lily Walker, Greg Freeman, Jay Ingle
Unrated
USA

"It's gonna be the shit movie of the year."

Although it's been marketed as a slasher flick, the crazed Actress Apocalypse is actually an over-the-top 'mockumentary' about two demented brothers and their flailing attempts at making a micro-budgeted flick about a big gay Indian. It opens with the two Lincoln brothers - the uptight David (Garo Nigoghossian) and loony, long-haired, sex-obsessed Vance (Greg Freeman) - as they wait in their shed for their actress on the first day of filming a micro-budget epic called Clearwater Canyon. And wait. And wait. The brothers start turning on one another almost immediately, and once the actress does, finally, show up, she's treated more like a hostage victim than a cast member. Things go from bad to worse, and the unhinged Vance decides to take over production. He changes the storyline into some shit about zombies and spends the rest of the movie 'auditioning' actresses. And when I say 'audition', I mean...well, you'll have to see it to know what I mean, but I will say that there's tons of nudity, and it's not called "Actress Apocalypse" for nothin'.

The most remarkable thing about this film is it's lightning-fast editing and it's use of trippy, psychedelic color schemes, both of which do wonders for covering up it's obvious budgetary limits. The soundtrack, by super-stoner band Space Probe Taurus, provides a sleazy, sweaty atmosphere as well, the perfect complement to all the gyrating flesh on display. The script is mostly improvised, and while it's never really funny, it's relentlessly obnoxious, mean-spirited, and evil, which is almost as good as funny.

Clip: Actress Apocalypse deleted scene


- Ken McIntyre

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